How to Conquer Fear for Good
THE ONLY SAFE WAY TO STOP FEAR IS TO STOP YOU
"FEAR!" That's the answer I get 9½ times out of 10 when I ask someone what is holding them back from achieving their real estate goals. Why do you let fear stop you? "I don't know" is a typical response. The answer is that they don't understand fear and don't know what it takes to push through it. Let me start by explaining what I think fear is. Fear is an extremely powerful and useful emotion that was given to us to protect ourselves. Fear makes us stop and think about what is going to happen and gives us time to evaluate. It engages our senses and allows us to experience the world on a higher level. Fear is an extremely positive thing and should not be avoided, but must be managed. I love the motto, "Feel the fear and do it anyway." I learned that at a self-development camp I went to a few years ago. It goes through my head every time I'm about to face something that scares me.
We did some really crazy things at this camp that were meant to be safe AND to scare you. Things like walking through broken glass, situations where there was a threat of physical harm, and overcoming an obstacle course 30 or more feet above the ground. All these tasks were intended to help the participants get to know themselves and learn to cope with stressful and fearful situations. It was extremely uncomfortable and if it weren't for peer pressure, I'm guessing most people wouldn't have participated. The interesting thing is that peer pressure has been extremely effective, but it's not always there to help you. When you're in business for yourself, you don't have that outside pressure around to help you accomplish your task. You need another tool in your toolbox.
Travis and I were talking the other day and I came up with something that Tony Robbins talks about a lot. Every decision is made for one of two reasons Avoiding pain is the motivation that makes fear stop us. With this knowledge, you can create a plan to deal with even the scariest business situations. The key is to understand the worst-case scenario if you choose to push through fear, and then the worst-case scenario if you choose to let fear stop you. If you don't consciously think about it, fear will likely stop you. Again, this is because the pain of facing a fear can be immediate and seem more intense than the alternative
Long before you ever find yourself in a situation that will require you to overcome fear, you should think about what you really want out of this business. What will you really give up if you are not successful? You really have to feel it deep down. Why are you number one in this industry? What you want? What happens if you don't reach your goals or are not successful? I've written about this before, but this is your "why". Without a clear and strong "why," the fear could be too strong to overcome. This is the problem with many unsuccessful investors that successful ones do not. Fear will never stop you with a powerful "why"!
Stop reading this article and think about it. Think about what you want. Is it bigger than money and bigger than you? It's not because you want a big house and a nice car. It is something powerful that causes an emotional response to speaking or thinking. Examples could be a charitable cause or a family member you want or need to help. Spend time thinking about why you NEED to be successful and remind yourself where you spend your time working. Photos or motivational quotes work really well. I have a coffee mug that I drink coffee out of every morning that is covered in pictures of me and my girls. It's impossible for me not to stay motivated when I see it every day.
Once you have a strong "why" you will be unstoppable! The next time you feel fear, take a few minutes to recognize that He is there to protect you and think about what He is trying to protect you from. In the highly unlikely scenario that they are trying to protect you or someone you love from physical harm, acknowledge that and make a decision based on your priorities. In the likely scenario that no physical harm occurs, I suggested focusing on what you are giving up and letting fear stop you. Focus on the "why". Think of the pain it causes or will cause if you don't face the fear. Really think about it. Even if it is not immediate and immediately intense, what pain is greater?
I understand that the fear is real and there is a chance that you will fail in your task. Failure here and there is okay and in my opinion even necessary to achieve your goals. Like fear, failure is positive. I have learned the most from my failures and attribute my success in part to them. Overcome fear by thinking about avoiding pain and thinking about your big "why." Once you do, feel the fear and do it anyway!